Ok, i'm not meaning anything erotic by my title, just Strange wants, cravings, and other similar words didn't seem to describe it well enough. Some of my desires right now are:

1. To cantor with a horse again, to prove to myself that I can ride well and the last time wasn't just a fluke. I got bucked off my horse while cantoring and then when I went riding again, I did an excellent job cantoring, i want to do that again(not the bucking off part but riding excellently).

2. To be out in the storm right now, not caring about getting wet, cold, just being crazy, spinning circles, whatever. maybe that one is kind of erotic

3. To be ok with being alone without feeling alone, and to be ok with being someone else without being sarcastic and mean.

4. To forget about my last two crushes and start over with a new slate.

5. To rebuild some of the bridges that I have burned over the last few years.

and finally
6. To be 5 years old again when none of this would have mattered